Eastern - Eggs and eggs... and some more

Just arrived in Stockholm. The sun is about to come here in the early evening and it looks beautiful in the sky.

Have picked up Robin and he is around me, very close and happy. His candy egg is almost empty and he is not aware that another one is waiting.

I am around, here, in a strange mood, just trying to keep my head up but it does not work. My body and my seul just tells me to .... wake up, start walking and talking. I am "jetlegged" in more then one way.

This week have been a rollercoaster----lets call it the " duelling dragons week feeling"... a lovely rollercoaster drive as in Florida Orlando Universal Adventure Park.

I have been hanging outside the last waggon .. trying to hold on, just feeling the death coming closer when loosing step and hands. wow... Back in the first waggon again.

It started with one nightmare and continued with another, and another and another..... Hmm..... How many can you deal with in one day and one week? Obviously many ...

• I had to resign one of my employees this week. Sad but true. Short, honest and so damn hard. But business is business and that is included as well to manage.. Just some shitty hard when the person , is the one you have trusted and employeed as a number one and in some words, just feel worthless. puuh. I guess I have that feeling very much at the moment.

• I had to meet the most unprofessional, ugly and mostly stupid dummie in the community of the little town and I was chocked. Chocked ....so much that I laughed my ass of with my lawyer. Kind of maniac behaviours I guess... :-)

It will be a pleasure to be on the headlines, some people just told me I love to be in the spot, ( I did not know ) and I cant deny that any more. I never ever normally feel this kind of revenge feelings but now.. yes yes.

• Mother nightmare... hello.. this wednesday evening I was reminded why I sad goodbye to my mother for a break and time out lasted 14 years. Yes... and I am willing to take a break for the rest of my life. Some things I will not accept, not even with an excuse again and again and again.. Hell no... give me strenght to leave her bad energy out of me. I will enjoy the rest of my life for sure, with or without her.

• One of my friends had a nightmare wake up this week and luckily I was aside to limit the damage and scary minds. Some men are bigger assholes then others , its just about how fast you will realize it. It was like in a scary movie... I got a chill and I wil never ever experience this again.. puh..

• NIghtmare.. missing a sharing partner reminder .. again. In tuff situations you just have to ask for help, advice and support, it s just about to realize when to and who to go to and just also realize, who are your friends when needed?

I went back to a lawyer/ accounter I used some years ago for some support and questions regarding my business and my lucky bastard, he was ready for some support again. He remembered me and that was good.

I will sell out part of my business, that is clear. Now it is about the price. And honestly .. that decsion was everything but a nightmare. It feels great. I am ready to team up and dare another partner.

• Mail nightmare 1... when words are supposed to be positive and cheer you up but gives nothing but tears.." dont feel sad.." .
• Mail nightmare 2... when someone state that "words are at least practical.".and use the word "dust" when its about feelings... my personal unvisible guides just tell me to read the words again ok... they words might be practical and useful.. but for haven sake... remember that behind the words there is a life and honest meaning but mostly feeling and me reading. .... and why not speaking out loud and honest? just do it.

• Unexpected thoughts..... I want to build a house. I was walking in an area with a lot of houses, quiet newly built and the thougt just hit me with a lot of feelings... again. I need to make a change, and yes... things are ongoing I hope and true. I want to build something new.

• Positive 1... my sisters husband came back from Miami today.... he was thrilled about the visit ... and it is wonderful to realize that within 7 weeks I will take ground... .. i cant believe it

• Positive 2.. I will spend the eastern with my 3 boys and I will enjoy every second with them and for a change ...I will not spend the Eastern in my summerhouse, it will not even be in Arboga. And it feels great.

Happy Eastern.

Anna