Pokerface

In some ways and in some occasions I sometimes manage to be the best actor ever. No matter the pain, no matter the hard feelings, no matter the sadness and no matter anything... but you just know that things are so damn wrong. In some cases, I manage to keep smiling and be cool inside even if I am burning.

And damn, I have burned. So much, that I have managed to improve my already very bad pokerface. That is good of course... On the other hand, my real face have been visible many times this year and I dont know what to say ....

This last year have been like a rollercoaster. Three of my best friends really betrayed me heavy and deep and I just wanted to die.

One of them, I was not ready to loose the way it happened , really did see the real Anna face, and it was no pokerface. And truly, I managed to forgive. The other one.... I dont know if I have forgiven.. but I will never forget that the excuse never ever will come.


The third one, I will never ever understand, how a person can betray so much. I will never ever get that answer. I just want things to be ok again.

I forgot the fourth one.... but it was not even a friend, just someone who managed to manipulate me in a way that was my best lessons learned ever. gosh..... I just remembered I have deleted everything regarding that person. Waist of time and energy.

Luckily.... I had my best face on when I met someone that really made sence to me this year. What goes around comes around and I truly just say thanks to my guide in life.

And I promise, I will never let go of a sad pokerface to a person that I truly like and love. Never ever.

I still believe in happiness and love, no matter...

Love / Anna