Paradigm shift - human touch

Today I stepped into a fully crowded subway and realized that one of the corner in the waggon looked empty so I took full speed ahead to get a seat.

I did. And as I turned around and sat down I realize why the corner was almost empty and that people actually moved from there.

A man, some over drunked was sitting in the corner, drinking and somewhat singing mumbling on a swedish old classic movie song...

He looked at me straight in the eyes with question marks... will she also leave or, sooner ... how soon will she leave as all the others, i saw his questions without asking.

Normally I would have left running, and today, not in the mood for some hard talking to a very drunk person, I considered for some seconds, as I still have a hard time meeting drug addict people close since i have experienced a bank robbery and still remember the face of the burgler.. so... I did not.

This time I decided to stay seated. For 10 seconds I just decided to do something really different and I stayed. I looked at him and smiled a bit.

He looked back and all of a sudden, he stopped singing and asked me about my name.
I told him, and he told me his name, and pointed clearly that his last name should be spelled with two K:s, a finnish last name. Proud really. He also told me he was a garbisch truck driver. Ok, nice to meet you I said and start playing with my mobile to get some music.

Then he all of a sudden start talking to me again and told me that he had just left his mother in hospital and she was very much dying, she had had a stroke and was now lying just to wait for death.

he kept on talking and apologized for being so sad and drunk. He asked me what to do?
--Well... just keep on being sorry I told him, that is what you are at the moment and what you probably need to accept and just continue being without any hard judgement to what it mean to you by drinking and crying.

He somewhat jelled at me ( not to loud) that he was ashamed of being sorry and it was not allowed to cry for a man and he apologized himself again.

--I cry for my mother and I am 46 he said, that is a shame, and I should not.

He cried heavily and his tears made his face striped and wet.

I have never ever been as quiet and calm as in this moment. I just looked at him, gave him an understanding smile ( not to big) and just nodded, yes , it is ok to be sad. No worry. Cry as much as you like, I told him in silence. And I think he heard me.

He kept on crying and just looked at me. All the people around me as well. Silent pure crying.

Empathi and very much sympathi for this unknown proud very grieving man just made me very calm and happy in a strange way.

I did my very best coaching ever , today. Just by listening.

As we stepped out of the train he asked for my name for the 7th time, and as I went back in to the coming train to go forward, he just screamed behind me with a happy voice and smile....

--Thank you, i want to marry you, you are the most beautiful woman i have ever met... please come back and listen to me, you just made my moment as I felt some attention he screamed out. The doors closed and he waved heavily as the train went going.

Today beauty really ment something different, at least to me.... and it came from the inside and compassion to another person.


I realized how nice it was just to keep quiet and keep my mouth shut.

And the stranger just gave me the best coaching without even knowing it.

It is ok to be sad, I have to accept that as well.

Honesty - my dear ...

so,,, what about honesty... is it always the best and right to be honest in every occasion ? What do you think?

As I from nature am a really natural born killer girl and also named as miss honesty herself I of course have to say yes to that question. How cynical can I be you may ask? Am I also a big liar?

Yes, at a certain level i probably am the biggest liar ever. Mostly to myself but mainly I am not... it is just about your mindset, to lies and honesty.

Think one more time what I am writing.... does it make sense?

Is she crazy you might think? And now she is really speaking in questions and write between the lines.... hmmm... so why you might wonder? But at the moment I cant tell.

I sometimes am to honest and open speaking and maybe not always at the right point in time. Shit happens....

But also, in the morning today, I just was really totally open and honest about things I have golden experiences in related to dishonesty...

and as the best reply to that a very fancy big lie was totally rserved to me and exactly the thing i wanted to hear.

Is that really possible?

Yes, truly madly deeply.

And you just keep on smiling,, more lovely and beauty as ever.

Life goes on and on and you can just choose the happiness you deserve and want. I promise, it works.

The only right thing at the moment is just to give and give... and sooner or later you will receive something back....

It would be very interesting to see whether you dare to give me your comments to what I am writing, I truly want them.

Love and even more love from here.

Love & Passion

I just have to admit, I am filled with love and passion.

Love to my favourite colleagues for doing such a great work and put all their effort in creating something really great in Copenhagen today.

I feel both proud and very happy about this. Great work!! Great value!

Passionated about the marvelloues conference set up, filled with energy, love and passion for the software development work and our great developers and test managers in our company.

There will definately be a next time and I will be in charge. Promise.


Again, I have to repeat my earlier writing here in my blog... the meeting, the interaction and connection to people just make me feel great and alive.

Daydreaming for some minutes during the flight back home I just went to the moon and back, looking down to earth and see the great view of our world very down below.

Imagine what Christer Fugelsang both view and thought when he was up there in the sky... love, happiness, freedom and respect to the lovely earth and life itself.

Jesus, What a lovely feeling and thought. I will fight to keep it remaining for a long period of time. Really.....

and i just realized i was not afraid at all during the flight back home.... good Anna , its all about mindset.

Coaching and Energizing

To be honest. For the first time in my life, I have run out of energy and motivation in a very strange way, but still both happy and mostly thrilled anyway. How about that combination?

When you mostly not expect coaching and inspiration and definately not believed you would get any in the nearest future, Its just there, waiting for to be given and coming to you for free just by asking.

Why is it so hard to ask for it? In my case it was. I have asked too many times but not accepted and liked the given answers since I did not want any answers. Just the right questions.

I have to deal with some questions on my own and my head just went spinning for some weeks. That is nothing I can recommend. I have not been sleeping very well lately and neither not had my usual happy spirit , and that is really not normal to me.

During this last week I realized that i got some very good coaches in my life at the moment. They were just there, maybe not waiting to be asked for coaching, but they were definatley there ready to give me the right questions. And I dared to ask for it.

No doubt you have to make up your mind and make decicsion all on your own, but the way to get there can be a both hard and a bumpy journey.


When people around you give you the answers and questions you dont like and are just there to convince you that there is no idea to go for your passion and energy in life. Also they strive to always do what is best for everyone else but yourself.

I just cant deal with those suggestions and thinkings any more.

Sometimes your stomach feeling is just the one to listen to and I normally do and will do. And not only the stomach. My heart too. Even more important and I have to put love and passion into things to get the energy and motivation.

Probably a very hard philosofy and strategy which makes me both fail and succeed in great ways, but it is just me.

I got the right questions from a very good coach this week and that just was the golden moment and things i wanted. No answers, no judging and no advices. But just the very best questions to give me a very nice kick in my a.....

I am sure, very sure about certain things now, and it feels great. Please, I will take my energy and spirit back to me at once. I deserve that.


Love from here.

Networking

By networking you dont only keep your motivation high, you also realize how much you can benefit by doing it. Networking.

I got a very good compliment and reference from one of my best colleagues that I was extremely good at networking all over the world, no matter profile, profession, rich or poor. I am very happy for that compliment and I just had to do some serious reflection about that. How come and what is the reason? Is there any strategic thinking behind it or what is it?

After a lot of thinkings I just have to be honest and realize the simple truth,
I get very happy to meet people. I love the interaction, listen to people, se new personalities, listen to their experiences, life adventure, interests or any other things they want to share. So I guess it is all about sharing. Sharing the energy and chemistry that is around. And many people really wants to share.

Today I met my network of managers within Nordea for some hours and that just confirmed my passion and effort to keep on doing that.

Sometimes you just realize that it is the meeting with people that make you grow and make you feel alive. At least for me.

I remember when I first saw and met Benjamin Zander, the Boston philharmonica conductor, speaking at a conference and he really touched me with his energy and inspiration which was so clear and honest.

I was not surprised that more then me felt that and some of us in the audience just had to wait after the speak to just say hello and thank you.

I truly wish he was in my network. On the other hand, he will always be on my mind and that is also a very good and probably the best way to learn and interact.

Give people an A, we all deserve that.

Good bye 2007 - Welcome 2008

Time for some small reflections of the past year and also time to look forward to the coming year.

2007 was in many ways my best year ever. Even if it started to be the worst year ever since my father past away in November 2006 and from November to March i was in some kind of koma as far as I remember. He was in many ways my leading coach. I cant even remember how I managed to deal with my children and my section manager work just in the way I did it at that time. It is kind of fascinating to me now when I close the past year.

You just realize that life goes on and you just have to survive and take care of things. That is the only truth and in some ways it was nice to be aware of that during the sad times and also see how you manage to deal with it.

I made up my mind and continued the rest of the year with a marvellous energy to succeed with the things i choosed to deal with. My family and my work.

Some challenges and uplifting activities on the way, but I guess that it is the lovely spice you should be happy about. I love the comment,,, " dont cry because its over, smile because it happened" . Yes I truly do and I am also greatful to all experiences I have got during the year, sad and lovely ones in a great combination. I have packed them all in a golden box never to be underestimated as the best gifts from life itself.

Back to the future. I have promised myself to make this coming year to the best year ever. How can I make that happen? Is it possible to beat 2007 years great experiences?

I truly think so and that is my goal.

I just have to start with the end in mind and make my own personal year statement already now and by doing that I will be even more strategic and specific in the choices I make to fulfill and make things happen.

And my leading star is that what I choose, I choose because I want to.

It is so exiting to make your own plan, plan for the actions and activites to be followed up on and also measure yourself in progress.

I have suprised myself this time and I guess that many people will be surprised as well.

We all deserve energy to make things happen. I feel like a lucky bastard at the moment, that has a full year trip ahead, I just have entered the train and am ready to go for the trip of my life. Happy New Year.