Fields Of gold.....towards the strength.

In the middle of the weekend, late at night, I just take the time to reflect on the last week which has been One of the worst weeks as long as I can remember. But when the sadness is at is worst and you dont know how to raise...something happens... and I manage to make it surviving and actually quiet positive.

I got the support, the coaching, the very best comments, some suggestions and mostly respect and motivation to just raise my head and back in an upright position. How Fashinating! And marvellous.

so, The end of the week turned out in a way that I could never expect. Great surprises including great opportunities. Thanks..

Listen to the song Fields of Gold... I think it is cool and what I got´at the moment.

Tomorrow i will arrange for my little hero´s birthday party and I just realize that 6 years just flew away like that and I just wondered what happened. They yellow bike outside is just waiting to be biked and used... and this time it is something special...
gears and no foot breaks... jesus... he is just such a lovely little hansom. And so are my older boys as well... the years are just running and I truly make my best to enjoy every second of life.... or at least to take one day at a time and start living it as every day is the last one...

And I do. Promise me you do too.

A

Challenges and yes... challenges....maybe signs and opportunties... including a Scream...

Some days are just more challenging and worse then others. This was a day I rather would have put a black mark over in the calender.

First.....My older son.. yeah,, i can just tell that he made me so sad and mad that I shouted all the way down to South Africa, both yesterday and this morning. ( worthless but It just came).

There is no license to be a mother and at this time, I guess I would never pass the certification.. or it was just what i did maybe? puh...

I will not tell you any details about it, but imagine the worst, some teenager in my house during the weekend while i was away.. and then some more teenagers.. not invited coming to see what was going on..Yes. catastrophy is the word and I felt I was raped. I dont care about the things, but the feeling to have people sneeking around among my stuff and life in my house... no, that is just to much.

Even for a strong woman like me.

I have to deal with it and I just need to gather myself and be structured, but the police will be involved. Thats probably the only right thing but i have to cool down.

Second... I got a message that somewhat just made me burning.. in a sad way.. maybe it is an opportunity, I just need to face it like that. But it was not a message i wanted or liked, but just have to accept it... or not.

Third,,... I fucked up a scheduled meeting with US this afternoon, damn... i was just to upset and unstructured today.


Ok.. some good things as well..

First... my manager had some great news to me today and time for a small dance in the office... Good work Anna. And that was just so right in time.

Second,,.. I got a phonecall which in one way made me dancing again ... at least the second part of it.. the first part..... se above .-)...

Third,,... The US meeting could take place from home in the evening and with a great outcome.

Fourth... made some good homework with the oldest son and tried not to be to influenced by me strong emotions about his bad happenings during the weekend.

So..overall...

what a bad crazy day.... sometimes it is just too much, and the one up there supporting me one week ago...where are you? Now, he just wants to test me in many ways, plese be some kind to me. I cant take any more at the moment.

Give and get some Energy and strength for the future.

This is the song I eat at the moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iLDIj0pDHk


Love
A

Finally Monday .. and finally...new carreér possibility... opportunities..

Some moments and also some days can turn out to be more golden then others.

Sun has been shining so great during the day and I was very eager to see my sons again after 1,5 week away from me.

The youngest one have been away skiing and I know that his week has been great in the Swedish alp district. The reports regarding the progress in downhill skiing has been obvious, the success about lift and the speed down hill... ohh...well,, he has been eager to inform me.

But yesterday, he had another focus.....he called me and reminded my about the Football session today.
First football training in his life and I can tell he has been waiting for this.
He has been on the front row to see his brothers playing matches and have been the first one to run into the arena in the breaks,,, me standing in the goal and yes.... he is both quick and lovely in his actions.

So, when I picked him up today at pre-school everybody, and I mean everybody was prepared. He was already dressed up in his brand new football shoes and Zlatan t-shirt, model Swedish team. Jesus... he was prepared and all his friends shouted at him when leaving the yard. Good Luck Robin!!

Felt like a had Zlatan aside me, this was huge.

Huge challenge also for the girls who was the trainers during this one hour. All the boys were jumping up and down, so eager to play match so they could not stand still.

And finally when they had done some exercises model simple it was time. Have you ever seen this little small line behind the ball, everybody running and kicking at the same time for this poor ball.

And how they laughed..... 1-1 in this first game and I am lucky it ended up like that. I can imagine the discussions in pre-school regarding their progress, match and all like that ... and I wish that I could be hidden somewhere listening...

He left the training so proud and straight in his back, watched his shoes.. yes, still tight strings and yes... they were not to dirty, and drinking from his new bottle, wearing his new t-shirt, but mostly also.. taking care of the golden football he got.

These moments are so great, and he is convinced about his carreer planning already now. And of course, I support him and will make sure I do everything but demotivating my little Zlatan here. He deserves it.


Love you
A

One weekend in April ........

Sunday evening and I am about to summarize a great weekend.

After a 1,5 hour drive to my summer house I stepped into my small but great cabin, kind of cold but so coosy this Friday evening.

As soon as possible I fixed a great fire to get some heat and mostly, have the lovely atmosphere.

The tv antenn cable did not work, and I found out why later Saturday morning ( eaten by something uhhgg.) ... so I just turned on the radio and put myself in the sofa. Great. Went to bed very early and fell a sleep lika a very tired Anna.

Saturday I went up early, clened the house, took a nice shower and went down to the city to meet my uncle. Have I told you that he is the best, tallest and most lovely uncle I have ever had? ok.. I do it now. He is a great man with many skills and talents, but mostly a heart of gold.

Some lunch and a quick walk thrue this little lovely city... no sensations...

Went to my mother for a shorter coffee break and that was also very nice.

Bye bye and back to the cabin and a short walk this lovely Saturday evening.

My sister and her husband came by with some good swedish beers.... and I fixed some Irisch coffe´s, those were actually very good.. but devastating for the sleep.

Nice evning including some surprises and to bed to early again.

I slept in front of the fire on the floor, or to be honest,,, i could not sleep. Probably the coffee... so when the sun was coming i just had to get up.. wihout any sleeping. oh i was like a ghost.

So, in the morning and sunshine, a long walk of 7, 5 km was really good, and some garderning as well.

I have not touched my laptop during this weekend and that has been very strange. Just activites outside and no demands.

Before going home to Stockholm I met my friends down in the city for a pizza and coffee break. So tired so I could have fallen asleep . That is just crazy.

Now, back in bed again... what a weekend, what a life... time is just running and I am quiet happy about it.

Bourne Identity and Jason Bourne will be my sleeping company for tonight. That is a great way to end the weekend.

A

Grand group....

I was invited to a new female network the other day and I have to admit I did not have that much expectations of this meeting, more then to meet some new females and share knowledge. First meeting I could not attend, so this was the second one.

15 highly skilled and experienced women met in the Italian Restaurant Trattoria Romana in the old city here in Stockholm. I only knew one woman, had met another one before, but the other 13 was just a great huge bonus.

During the evening and as we presented ourselves, our profession, background and familiy situation , I could not stop smiling. Because of happiness, and also very much impressed by their stories and the choices they have made thrue their life.

So many lovely beautiful women with so much expereinces, so different background, so different perspectives and also very different in many ways.

Then it was great to understand what we had in common,to increase our network, share knowledge and also of course have a great time together.

Lucky me, i was seated in the sofa together with Maria, Carina and Else-Marie, and there are no words enough to tell everthing they shared this evening.

Fantastic. Felt like a birth day party with so many gifts in one evening.


Well.. what says in the Grand Group stays in the Grand group, .. but I wish that you had heard and had half as much laughs and stories from our talks as I had, and that would fill you for a long long time.

I will make sure that i take care of these new connections in my very best way and I see this is one of the biggest gifts for a long time, and even more, I just feel that this will be a very good investment.

One friend once told me " you get what you deserve Anna ..." and then he treated me badly... and I did not deserve that, truly not... but,, for this time,, i have to agree with him..

Yes I got what i deserved, this time as well.

Keep on Networking..

Your very best
Anna

the life so far.....

Have you ever considered to tell anyone the whole story of your life so far?

Including the first year of your life, the childhood, the teenages, the first job, your relations, your marriage, your first carreer move, and the rest of your happenings until today?

Maybe, maybe not. The other day I was asked to tell my story among some friends. That was really interesting from many perspectives and of course interesting to listen to my friends stories, which included things I did not even had a clew about. Honest and pure telling. Things and happenings that have had an impact of the moves and actions thrue out the lifecycle, so far.

I can easily talk about things, and so this time. I did not have that much time to consider and prepare what to tell, it just went kind of natural and I picked and choosed among important milestones in my life.

During the story, I just reflected on the things I choosed to tell and really listened to myself what I said. I have to admit that I became kind of sad, but also some happy.

What things did I really tell? And why? Some things I choosed to tell, and some not.

Some critical happenings have probably given me the strength and energy to choose happines in my life. I could have made some total opposite choices... or not? Damn, things you try to hide and forget, they are more closer then you want to admit sometimes.

I just realized that I did some great strategy work already as young girl, surviving strategies .... including an implementation plan.

This understanding made and makes me really sad, and proud.What is strongest..?

Never ever hold back.... stay confident and go for the things you really want. Those are my leading guides at the moment. I feel comfortable with it.. so far.

I am in charge of what I choose.

After leaving the laywer office in January I had a strong feeling that i should write a book and tell the truth. Honest, it will kill any story you have heard or seen in any tv show ever. I promise. My story is just as crazy as any fictive story you can ever find. You wouldnt believe it. And I am just in the middle of the story ....so far.

I better find a director, immediately.

Love,
A

Great working day....

This was actually a very good Tuesday.

Started with a gathering to meet our IT Executive members in a Manager meeting early morning.
Good meeting included some very good input, questions and inspiration. I could of course not hold my horses.. but in a positive way, to raise some questions and also give some tips on the way which was very much appreciated... I wonder were I get my energy and inspiration from, sometimes I just wonder.... but its there.

Next meeting, a great PDD. Super. Prepared, energized and very much future focus, very very good. And good Sushi.

Next meeting, a topic that normally can kill but was managed in a good way due to very good participants.... :-). Great outcome and yes, It felt good and we did a delivery. I love to deliver.

End of day and another small meeting, informal assignment meeting, great....and yes, some people you really wish you could cloone.. some are really really great.

Very end of day... now to late... a meeting with an employee ( not my team member) that will leave the company,
What an employee, star, golden resource and also a very good person. Damn i will miss her, but will make sure i catch her up. Definately.

Rainy, dark and very cold evening which ends with a great mailconversation regarding the coming conference set up in May. A very late cancellation force me as task force manager to some quick ideas and decision .. and yes, sometimes I just wonder if somebody up there is watching me and supporting me. .. truly.. .

No matter who you are, for your information, I deserve it, dont I?

Good night.
A

Wings across the sky....

One of my friends is in the middle or end or whatever of a divorce and that is truly a sad experience or just say very challenging in many ways.

As a friend you just stand aside, just ready for some support if wanted, but mostly... share the sad moments when it is just to shitty.

Even worse when children is involved and just wonder what is going on.. and the hardest question to answer is just ... why?

No matter the reason, there will come some lightening sooner or later. To some, very very very to soon - to early. That is probably the hardest challenge...Its easy to be blind and to just go for some new happiness as this seems to be the quick fix to all sad emotions. And yes, it can be, but normally you are out of mind to early. But when love hits you.. yes, sold.

Some words of love,compassion and energy to my friend and all the other friends including myself,from this great video/song from Top Gun movie to you...

Stay confident, remember love, keep the right amount of fishes in your pool, treat your friends as they deserve and stay away from a---h---s, keep your thoughts.... when needed, But mostly, choose happiness and enjoy the life.


and ... some greetings to you who share the love for this movie with me. It´s a great movie btw.



I wish I could fly...


A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBKOpFVggr8&feature=related

and when you have listen to that... promise to see the whole video.. it is a marvellous film.... take this one as well


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQpPe_xvihA&feature=related

Ready.... PPM 25

I am ready with the presentation material as a version no 0.9 and ready for review.
Puh... what a challenge.

I normally do this on my own but now I have to make sure it will fit perfect in to Dr Ivar Jacobsons slides as well as he will be my co-speaker. Great eh? I think so and I am very curious to see his full fan club coming to listen just to him..

I will be the very best bonus ever.

I can promise, it will be so good. So much value for the audience coming to get some tips and tricks back to their organizations.

Maybe they have heard some of it before,,, yes, it is not rocket science at all, it is just a very good reminder of how we are and how we adopt to changes.

Change things is hard, to change people is even harder.

And we truly will and do respect sincerely .. ITs all about people and
of course also ... mindset, I am convinced about it.


From a satisfied Anna, typing in the terrace on a sunny lovely Saturday like this.

A

Tattoo..... " towards the stars..."

I have considered doing a Tattoo. Yes you read right. Me, Anna K Gustafsson.
Never ever I would have thought considering that. I try to remember, when that first thought came. Actually, I think it started when my father died but I am not sure.

He was the best supporter of bad thoughts regarding a lot of different minds and stuff since childhood, everything from making tattoos, being homosexual, lesbians... politics and to everything else he wanted to protect us from and had a strong opinion about.

Nowadays, one of my good friends is gay and I truly like him very much.( my taxidriver) and I dont have any problem at all about it. But hello... why should I?

I have even been to the biggest gay bar in Amsterdam, Soho, and had the time of my life with a nice man, ( not a gay I hope :-) ). It took me some minutes to realize that the men did not look at me at that time... it was on my hansom company... that was a great...:-) experience. ( I will go back there, very nice atmosphere btw).

So, the politics, I actually dont care that much about it, the lesbians... yes, they are lovable as well, but not my thingy and the only thing left is the tattoo to conquer...


My closest friend does know about my thoughts and she does not make me any judgement or criticism for it. She supports me. It will be my decision to do it, and she is absolutely right about it. Thanks...

I told a colleague today , and he got totally crazy about it. He does not like tattoos at all, maybe not me either, but enough much to tell me to consider not to do it. It would ruin the respect and I would be seen as a black, dirty, kinky .. whatever woman if it is visible to anyone. Especially for a female It manager in my position.

On the other hand, he suggested that if I should do one, I should do it down there somewhere hidden..

Hello hello... wait a minute. Number one, I make the tattoo for myself, not for anyone else to surprise and whatever when it pops up during a dark night. No way.

Number Two... If i choose to mark my body It will be in my way, and the way i like it. Visible or not.

At the moment, and I am still only considering it (promise), it imagine a latin text on my left under arm. I have seen some people having their personal choosen text there so.... yes that could be my choice.

The latest very beautiful and thoughtful text I was inspired of was something like
" thrue hard times, towards the stars" but in latin, much shorter and very lovely written in coursive font. I have to find it.

But I will consider it of course, very carefully to do this painful and probably stupid thing. Give me your comments her on the blog about it, I would love to be commented on this.

And to be honest, if my father was alive, i would probably not even consider to do it and neither show it if I had one. Isnt that strange? No.. I guess not, I am an oldfashioned girl, I have to admit it.. but

I think he actually would like that I can be both brave and wild.

I will try to make the tattoo of my life in London i think, that can be a good choice....

Goodnight,
A