The hours of truth and trust....

was just a dream...., we will never reach it and we could not hold on to the very last end.

Sisters and brothers can have their fights and arguments, that is quiet normal... I guess. Same with me and my younger sister. I remember those fights as horrible when we were youngsters and I wanted to kill her. She was kind of jealous of me of everything, without no reason.. I thought, at that time. Same now.

But now I can understand why she is. Of my spirit and energy and most for choosing happiness even in the worst situations.

The older you get, the more you understand what is going on. The genes are coming up, shows and dancing you straight in the face and even closer. Some genes are more lovely then others. Some are awful.

The hour of truth is just here. The final heritage meeting will take place Friday. Since the D day in November 2006 the grief has brought us togheter. This ongoing discussions, meetings and agreements have been ok. Until now.

In this last hour the truth everyting just exploded. The jealousy with the big J. We have never been so far away from each other as this day. A lot of truths were served like a five course dinner. And it´s all about money.

I have done my best to keep cool, been nice, been structured, strong and also kind of energized in this common sharing.

Its over now. Now we will have to fight on our own, pick up the left overs of huge sadness, keep on smiling and be cool inside. Just survive and be strong.

Money has never been any of my drivers in life ( prob stupid) and will maybe be.

Lucky I got some potential, or.. quiet high actually, even without it.

Give me a hand for both of us, we truly need it.


A