We are writing Tuesday 29th of July and I will say happy birthday to my x-husband today. Congratulations, i hope your day will be lovely to celebrate with the boys.
Myself is kind of bleeding. My body does not work. Ater the weekend I am totally out of order. I cant almost walk and move and my body is just.. hurting.
I realize my ordinary manager work is some kind of different from the work done the last days. All my muscles have been used and I feel tired and tired. Exhausted. It is kind of same as a long hangover.. and you think you will never recover.
My house is kind of a hang --- over... too at the moment. Full and full of boxes and things and I wish I could be magic for some hours and just get rid of everything. Its just hanging over my shoulders.
But , the sun is shining and my happiness remains and I feel like a happy woman. Soon I will see my boys again and that makes me crazy happy. They will die when they see the mess in the house i guess.
Btw.... I was called "madam" today and that felt very oldfashioned... but kind of nice anyway.
I better go to bed early tonight to make sure I can get out of bed tomorrow.
Love from here
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
you only got 4 minutes.....
Ok... late midnight. Sitting in the reception listening to the heavy noice outside from the pub/ disco just across the street my hotel. Oh.. and all me girls are out there.. without me.
But actually I dont feel i want to be there at the moment since I am totally out of order. So stupid tired after some crazy days here at the hotel.
Not since 1972 the hotel has been so crowded during this slow July days... good business but good work for me.
And I love it. To wear so many different hats during the day and I just feel very comfortable about it in many ways. Though.. to be lonely is not the best thing with this workload.
YEsterday I put on my MP3 and listen to heavy dance music while cleaning the rooms and I can tell I danced and sang around and among the rooms.
I promised myself to give my guests something extra and the do all of them. Even if it is just one or two words.... its extra. And it feels great.
Yesterday I got some critical help from my friends. If n0t I would have been kind of lost now.
That unconditional giving of help just make me crazy happy. Fells like as I have a golden box of friendship overflowing me. One day i will give back. I promise.
I like the song you only got 4 minutes with Madonna/ Timberlake.... especially when cleaning a hotelroom from top to bottom very quickly but with a high quality.
The song banged in my head and also some others .. you know my favourites.. Scream, Please dont stop the music and more...
And it made my cleaning trip and role as a good competion ... it should only take 4 minutes to make a double bed...
Cheers this lovely summernight. I miss some company.. I truly do.
Good night.
Anna
But actually I dont feel i want to be there at the moment since I am totally out of order. So stupid tired after some crazy days here at the hotel.
Not since 1972 the hotel has been so crowded during this slow July days... good business but good work for me.
And I love it. To wear so many different hats during the day and I just feel very comfortable about it in many ways. Though.. to be lonely is not the best thing with this workload.
YEsterday I put on my MP3 and listen to heavy dance music while cleaning the rooms and I can tell I danced and sang around and among the rooms.
I promised myself to give my guests something extra and the do all of them. Even if it is just one or two words.... its extra. And it feels great.
Yesterday I got some critical help from my friends. If n0t I would have been kind of lost now.
That unconditional giving of help just make me crazy happy. Fells like as I have a golden box of friendship overflowing me. One day i will give back. I promise.
I like the song you only got 4 minutes with Madonna/ Timberlake.... especially when cleaning a hotelroom from top to bottom very quickly but with a high quality.
The song banged in my head and also some others .. you know my favourites.. Scream, Please dont stop the music and more...
And it made my cleaning trip and role as a good competion ... it should only take 4 minutes to make a double bed...
Cheers this lovely summernight. I miss some company.. I truly do.
Good night.
Anna
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Fishes in the pool at the moment....
One of my friends gave me some lovely expressions on the way before take off.... and I am greatful about them all. I still use them a lot and laugh in silence about them ( earlier I cried ) .
The one about having " to many fishes in the pool..... " actually was part of a sad story.. but it has turned out to be one of my favourite expressions, at least in mind and it is very much applicable on the person who gave it... just imagine between the lines..... busy busy friend.
At the moment I have a lot of fishes in my pool and they are related to great friends, lovely connecting people, happenings, works issues and lovely challenges as moving and stuff.
I think deep to find if there are any very black dirty fishes.. but honest,... I cant find them,, or maybe I dont want to see them. At least they dont disturb and dont make any noices and that is the key issue.
And dirty? who is the one to judge Mr Gustafsson? hm...
I told you, its all about mindset and I love all my fishes and at the moment the pool feels clean.
Today I was reminded of one of my golden fishes ( sorry for the expression) as I cleaned up my mailbox. I replied quickly as it was an inviation but it was one month to late to read. Damn.
At least. That fish I will keep in my best pool as one very inspiring and professional connection I met this year IV. I will promote the guy later on as I like, and truly believe in his business and wanted to bring it to my company. In one or another way... the RAD Race must go to Scandinavia.
I was also reminded about another fish today and that fish is both dirty and lovely. But as always.... There is always a black sheep in each family and as long as you can manage ....that sheep is a gift.
Sheeps and fishes... what a lovely combination. I neither prefer the shit smell from a farm or the diving and cleaning so i better find a strategy to take care of my lovely animals from now on.
But I will manage dont you think?
Enjoy the lovely summer. I do. And I very much miss a warm lovely pool to swim in. I love swimming.
Love and kiss
A
The one about having " to many fishes in the pool..... " actually was part of a sad story.. but it has turned out to be one of my favourite expressions, at least in mind and it is very much applicable on the person who gave it... just imagine between the lines..... busy busy friend.
At the moment I have a lot of fishes in my pool and they are related to great friends, lovely connecting people, happenings, works issues and lovely challenges as moving and stuff.
I think deep to find if there are any very black dirty fishes.. but honest,... I cant find them,, or maybe I dont want to see them. At least they dont disturb and dont make any noices and that is the key issue.
And dirty? who is the one to judge Mr Gustafsson? hm...
I told you, its all about mindset and I love all my fishes and at the moment the pool feels clean.
Today I was reminded of one of my golden fishes ( sorry for the expression) as I cleaned up my mailbox. I replied quickly as it was an inviation but it was one month to late to read. Damn.
At least. That fish I will keep in my best pool as one very inspiring and professional connection I met this year IV. I will promote the guy later on as I like, and truly believe in his business and wanted to bring it to my company. In one or another way... the RAD Race must go to Scandinavia.
I was also reminded about another fish today and that fish is both dirty and lovely. But as always.... There is always a black sheep in each family and as long as you can manage ....that sheep is a gift.
Sheeps and fishes... what a lovely combination. I neither prefer the shit smell from a farm or the diving and cleaning so i better find a strategy to take care of my lovely animals from now on.
But I will manage dont you think?
Enjoy the lovely summer. I do. And I very much miss a warm lovely pool to swim in. I love swimming.
Love and kiss
A
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Love Trust and Friendship
Hi and hello. What a lovely evening including fantastic moonlight.
Back in my summerhouse again and I feel I can breath normally again after a quick visit to my house in Stockholm. I just feel happy ready with Stockholm. At least for some weeks... :-) .
There are some words that i love more then others and that are on my mind at this very moment Love Trust and Friendship.
Today I had a great day, some great packing ( thanks mother ), a good meeting with the transportation company, some great throw away car drives and also a visit to buy some new profile clothes to the hotel. That was kind of funny to order the things and It starts feeling kind of a reality to be the Hotel Managing Director soon.... haha.
Love is strong and flowing all over and it feels great. No matter where I am or who I see, it is just surrounding me and my closest. I guess it i all about give and get.
Same flow goes for trust. Trust you give and you get. That means a lot to me. Today I shared some private secret thoughts and happenings to a close friend , thoughts that I had not told anyone before. It felt good to tell it... just good. Maybe because I feel some ashame of it and wanted to make some kind of confession..... I did not expect any support in what I told and truly...... I didnt get it either. Just some true and honest comments straight on. No judgement. And that felt good too. To give and share.
I received some trust back as my friend shared some very private thoughts not told me before as well. Damn I was happy to be given that . To me this was something more. The content was not the thing ... to me the sharing was the thing. I told I was happy to be given trust regarding this kind of details.
And I enjoyed the moment of integrity, respect and actually the feeling of deep friendship when you open up as pure as that.
Today I was also very much reminded about my own values regarding friendhip and relationships. That was also a great feeling. A strong and healthy relation has all the ingredients mentioned and it is my guideline for the friends and people I choose to interact with in my life. It feels like great to have that mindset.
It takes some higher love to keep up a friendship even when being cheated and treated bad.
My rule i to maybe to forgive, or let say.... not to focus on the sad parts. Yes yes...I know it s not very easy and even a strong woman like me is sad and crazy disappointed sometims But..... I try to turn the energy to something else and into another dimension. That helps a lot.
So...
spread your love all over .... just choose the love and win win mindset
Give trust to build a great relationship
and see friendship as your most valuable asset.
To all of you,
Love and love from here.
Anna
Back in my summerhouse again and I feel I can breath normally again after a quick visit to my house in Stockholm. I just feel happy ready with Stockholm. At least for some weeks... :-) .
There are some words that i love more then others and that are on my mind at this very moment Love Trust and Friendship.
Today I had a great day, some great packing ( thanks mother ), a good meeting with the transportation company, some great throw away car drives and also a visit to buy some new profile clothes to the hotel. That was kind of funny to order the things and It starts feeling kind of a reality to be the Hotel Managing Director soon.... haha.
Love is strong and flowing all over and it feels great. No matter where I am or who I see, it is just surrounding me and my closest. I guess it i all about give and get.
Same flow goes for trust. Trust you give and you get. That means a lot to me. Today I shared some private secret thoughts and happenings to a close friend , thoughts that I had not told anyone before. It felt good to tell it... just good. Maybe because I feel some ashame of it and wanted to make some kind of confession..... I did not expect any support in what I told and truly...... I didnt get it either. Just some true and honest comments straight on. No judgement. And that felt good too. To give and share.
I received some trust back as my friend shared some very private thoughts not told me before as well. Damn I was happy to be given that . To me this was something more. The content was not the thing ... to me the sharing was the thing. I told I was happy to be given trust regarding this kind of details.
And I enjoyed the moment of integrity, respect and actually the feeling of deep friendship when you open up as pure as that.
Today I was also very much reminded about my own values regarding friendhip and relationships. That was also a great feeling. A strong and healthy relation has all the ingredients mentioned and it is my guideline for the friends and people I choose to interact with in my life. It feels like great to have that mindset.
It takes some higher love to keep up a friendship even when being cheated and treated bad.
My rule i to maybe to forgive, or let say.... not to focus on the sad parts. Yes yes...I know it s not very easy and even a strong woman like me is sad and crazy disappointed sometims But..... I try to turn the energy to something else and into another dimension. That helps a lot.
So...
spread your love all over .... just choose the love and win win mindset
Give trust to build a great relationship
and see friendship as your most valuable asset.
To all of you,
Love and love from here.
Anna
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Planning and packing with a boss...
So another day on the vacation. Sun, planning and also some packing. I wrote about my mother the other day and now she is here. And I am extremely happy about it.
She is the best boss ever in her way :-) and she loves to boss me.. and as a matter of fact it is good training to be bossed as I normally love to boss myself. Good lessons learn, really.
I have just realized that I have quiet a lot of stuff to pack and it takes some time. Tomorrow I will meet a man from the transportation service to get an offer of the total fixing , packing and cleaning. I would be an iditiot not to hire them. And I will do my best to prevent my lovely mother from not doing their job until they come here.
In between I was swimming in a lovely pool this morning, visiting my goo friends Gittan and Ronny and it was so lovely.
Damn.. i want a pool too. 27 degrees and i just did not want to get up. I love the summertime and enjoy every single second whats left of it.
For now... pack on..
Kiss
A
She is the best boss ever in her way :-) and she loves to boss me.. and as a matter of fact it is good training to be bossed as I normally love to boss myself. Good lessons learn, really.
I have just realized that I have quiet a lot of stuff to pack and it takes some time. Tomorrow I will meet a man from the transportation service to get an offer of the total fixing , packing and cleaning. I would be an iditiot not to hire them. And I will do my best to prevent my lovely mother from not doing their job until they come here.
In between I was swimming in a lovely pool this morning, visiting my goo friends Gittan and Ronny and it was so lovely.
Damn.. i want a pool too. 27 degrees and i just did not want to get up. I love the summertime and enjoy every single second whats left of it.
For now... pack on..
Kiss
A
Monday, July 14, 2008
Mothers ..... hello... give me a break --pain brings wisdom through the awful grace of god
First I have to tell you, I love my mother. That is for sure. But hello.... Love can have some kind of different dimensions.. dont you agree?
Mostly she drives me crazy nuts. True. Or.. is it so that I drive myself nuts on her? That can prob. also be true if I think some minutes. But hello....
At the moment I am in a very stressed situation regarding the moving of my personal belongings from one city to another and that is of course a lot of work and effort involved.
Not to mention that there are a lot of thing going on in my life at the moment... so I dont need her judgement and advices that I truly dont want.
And maybe... i would appreciate the words coming.. but not a chance. The way she treats me like a child and teenager not cabable of neither planning my life or living my life.. i just cant stand it.
Oh.... but I hold my tongue, and my horses not to remind her that I have managed to live without her for around 16 years so..... yes... she should think both ones and twice....
But also,,the other day I got quiet greatful to her. Last weekend she told me some things from her young days, and also some things about my grandmother that really made me curious, happy and proud. And for the first time... i think she told me some truths.
And I just realized some of my genes, my heritage and my way of living the life. True.
My grandmother never ever told me about her life, that she was really quiet about it And now I understand why. Holy moses.
I told you I will write a book about my life so far.... and I can tell... I will add my grandmother´s story as well. Its amazing, lovely and kind of .....well.....i cant even summarize it. Just great but totally crazy, insane and at that time.... so very brave.
That is what I am now. Brave happy and crazy. Living my life as every day is the last one.
And ok,,, i love to have my mother back in my life.. I have to admit it.
But sometimes I just want to fly all the way to Amsterdam to just go crazy wild and forget/ rewind everything. Give me the bar , the company I need and some great drinks... and i will dance all night. True.
Take care.
Anna
Mostly she drives me crazy nuts. True. Or.. is it so that I drive myself nuts on her? That can prob. also be true if I think some minutes. But hello....
At the moment I am in a very stressed situation regarding the moving of my personal belongings from one city to another and that is of course a lot of work and effort involved.
Not to mention that there are a lot of thing going on in my life at the moment... so I dont need her judgement and advices that I truly dont want.
And maybe... i would appreciate the words coming.. but not a chance. The way she treats me like a child and teenager not cabable of neither planning my life or living my life.. i just cant stand it.
Oh.... but I hold my tongue, and my horses not to remind her that I have managed to live without her for around 16 years so..... yes... she should think both ones and twice....
But also,,the other day I got quiet greatful to her. Last weekend she told me some things from her young days, and also some things about my grandmother that really made me curious, happy and proud. And for the first time... i think she told me some truths.
And I just realized some of my genes, my heritage and my way of living the life. True.
My grandmother never ever told me about her life, that she was really quiet about it And now I understand why. Holy moses.
I told you I will write a book about my life so far.... and I can tell... I will add my grandmother´s story as well. Its amazing, lovely and kind of .....well.....i cant even summarize it. Just great but totally crazy, insane and at that time.... so very brave.
That is what I am now. Brave happy and crazy. Living my life as every day is the last one.
And ok,,, i love to have my mother back in my life.. I have to admit it.
But sometimes I just want to fly all the way to Amsterdam to just go crazy wild and forget/ rewind everything. Give me the bar , the company I need and some great drinks... and i will dance all night. True.
Take care.
Anna
Krownprincess birthday.14th July .... Åsa my dear friend and queen
Happy birthday my lovely friend Åsa and krownprincess Victoria too.. of course. How can I forget... no no. Åsa you are one of my oldest and dearest friends and every time I see you no matter birthdays or anything else.. i go crazy happy.
And so today. It was a pleasure to celebrate you with your lovely family members. That is truly happiness and love to me.
I did not know that you and Anders celebrated your 20th proposal date today as well and that was truly lovely to hear and salut. Damn that is an achievement.
Thanks for being a lovely friend Åsa, always.
I look forward to move closer to you and have many laughs but also serious business talks for the comings.
Kisses and hugs and hip hurry...!!
Yours
Anna
And so today. It was a pleasure to celebrate you with your lovely family members. That is truly happiness and love to me.
I did not know that you and Anders celebrated your 20th proposal date today as well and that was truly lovely to hear and salut. Damn that is an achievement.
Thanks for being a lovely friend Åsa, always.
I look forward to move closer to you and have many laughs but also serious business talks for the comings.
Kisses and hugs and hip hurry...!!
Yours
Anna
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Vacation... when is the time.....? Kopparberg Näcktjärn July 10th
Today one of my very best friends told me to try to have some vacation from now on. Only one and a half week left and have to admit I have not relaxed to much in one way.... on the other hand in another way... I have relaxed.
Some of the reasons for not relaxing is just because to many things are happening at the moment and my mind is kind of working overtime. Especially at nighttime, early mornings. I wake up in the middle of the night and cant get back to sleep. Minds are just spinning and looping. Damn.. that is kind of hard.
On the other hand, during day time at least I have to "relax" by being a serving mother, fixing with lunch dinner and all that other stuff and there is no time for other mind spinning, typical... business minds.
Today, I finalize a discussion and got a great message that was kind of critical, so I should be able to sleep very satisfied tonight. We will see... as
this evening I am blogging from my uncles summerhouse in Kopparberg. The house is out in the middle of no where.... and we will stay over the night.
To be honest, this is a great place on earth, calm, green a lot of trees and a lovely nature.... but also.... i have to admit I am a bit scared not to see to many houses and people.
I am a city girl That is a fact probably.
Oh damn, I want to see the movie Sex and the City. I know I will love it. And I know, that the real life is even more true and funny then the movie at the moment. I promise :-).
Hear you soon.
A
Some of the reasons for not relaxing is just because to many things are happening at the moment and my mind is kind of working overtime. Especially at nighttime, early mornings. I wake up in the middle of the night and cant get back to sleep. Minds are just spinning and looping. Damn.. that is kind of hard.
On the other hand, during day time at least I have to "relax" by being a serving mother, fixing with lunch dinner and all that other stuff and there is no time for other mind spinning, typical... business minds.
Today, I finalize a discussion and got a great message that was kind of critical, so I should be able to sleep very satisfied tonight. We will see... as
this evening I am blogging from my uncles summerhouse in Kopparberg. The house is out in the middle of no where.... and we will stay over the night.
To be honest, this is a great place on earth, calm, green a lot of trees and a lovely nature.... but also.... i have to admit I am a bit scared not to see to many houses and people.
I am a city girl That is a fact probably.
Oh damn, I want to see the movie Sex and the City. I know I will love it. And I know, that the real life is even more true and funny then the movie at the moment. I promise :-).
Hear you soon.
A
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Retrospective in the lovely summertime..
So, finally vacation, sitting here on the terrace at my summer house. The rain is at the moment my only company here in the silent countryside. The children are out there playing football taking care of their interest and so am I.
Time for some reflections in very short versions below . There are a lot in between the lines, you will understand that... and use your best imagination and you are probably right about everything and the cynism is used to keep me away from the tears. So... here we go.
Next blog will be a happy one... i promise, but even a happy girl like me can be kind of ... tired.
Time for some reflections in very short versions below . There are a lot in between the lines, you will understand that... and use your best imagination and you are probably right about everything and the cynism is used to keep me away from the tears. So... here we go.
Next blog will be a happy one... i promise, but even a happy girl like me can be kind of ... tired.
- Hotel business... yes, it is coming closer faster then i can imagine.... July 23th will be my very first evening there. During the last week I did something over my limits and I am extremely happy about it. I went to see my step m and we had a long and good talk and we managed to make an agreement. Win - win. Damn good Anna
- Moving to Arboga... yes, i will and the apartment will be fantastic in the middle of the time.... what is less fantastic is my boys thoughts about this whole thing. Especially my teenagers are kind of ... lets say thoughtful about my choices.... Well I can just say, damn hard to explain in a way. But simple in another. I just have to do it, and one day they will see the win-win as well. But it is hard to hear that they tell me that I will loose them... I will never ever let that happen. For haven sake, what is going on in their minds
- Love and friendship.... I cant live without it, neither of them. I have a lot of both at the moment and hard to kind of sort things out. I thought I was a simple person.. but it seems I am a complicated woman.. or.. ? No, I dont want to be... i just want pure love and friendship.... first things first. Can someone help me here ...? I need a love phsyciatric.
- Power ... Meet . Yesterday we went to Power Meet in Västerås and it was a great super experience. Especially since i love these old cruising Cars. Damn I wish I had one of those and could be the driver. Next year, I will drive. Even if it will not be in my own car. I will drive.
- Hypocrytes ..... today I met one of my fathers best friend in town and it went to be an embarring story.... for him, and to be honest. People who belive in bad gossips about me and dont are to ask about the truth, I trule say good bye to those. During the last year my stepmother has told people so many bad and sad things about me, spread some rumours that .... yes... the truth is way beyond the fairy tail. Today... he realized what he had believed in and yes.. he feels ashamed that he has taken a stand for a big lie.... and yes... I am a proud very happy woman, and that can be to much for a man like that. I can truly tell.... my win-win approach sometimes scare people... or at least remind them about how much win - loose they think. Thank godness.... I truly feel sorry for him.
- Swedish summer.... well it is lovely as it is, green and fresh and when the sun is shining... it is the place on earth. Today... the rain just reminded me how lovely it can be, and I just felt it was a great company. But please.... give me some warm temperature here... the FLorida sun and the heat in the pool is just on my mind and I want it here as well.
- Fitness... well... what a shame... not in a very good shape so today on my daily walk.. I start running. Yes, And i managed to run for 4 kilometers .. and I have not run for years. How great and I love the pain in my body which just tells me to go on.
- Travel.... i will plan for a trip south very soon. I look forward to it and i just need it. Give it to me, damn I want it.
Love and kisses in the summer from
Anna
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