Mothers ..... hello... give me a break --pain brings wisdom through the awful grace of god

First I have to tell you, I love my mother. That is for sure. But hello.... Love can have some kind of different dimensions.. dont you agree?

Mostly she drives me crazy nuts. True. Or.. is it so that I drive myself nuts on her? That can prob. also be true if I think some minutes. But hello....

At the moment I am in a very stressed situation regarding the moving of my personal belongings from one city to another and that is of course a lot of work and effort involved.

Not to mention that there are a lot of thing going on in my life at the moment... so I dont need her judgement and advices that I truly dont want.

And maybe... i would appreciate the words coming.. but not a chance. The way she treats me like a child and teenager not cabable of neither planning my life or living my life.. i just cant stand it.

Oh.... but I hold my tongue, and my horses not to remind her that I have managed to live without her for around 16 years so..... yes... she should think both ones and twice....

But also,,the other day I got quiet greatful to her. Last weekend she told me some things from her young days, and also some things about my grandmother that really made me curious, happy and proud. And for the first time... i think she told me some truths.

And I just realized some of my genes, my heritage and my way of living the life. True.
My grandmother never ever told me about her life, that she was really quiet about it And now I understand why. Holy moses.

I told you I will write a book about my life so far.... and I can tell... I will add my grandmother´s story as well. Its amazing, lovely and kind of .....well.....i cant even summarize it. Just great but totally crazy, insane and at that time.... so very brave.

That is what I am now. Brave happy and crazy. Living my life as every day is the last one.

And ok,,, i love to have my mother back in my life.. I have to admit it.

But sometimes I just want to fly all the way to Amsterdam to just go crazy wild and forget/ rewind everything. Give me the bar , the company I need and some great drinks... and i will dance all night. True.



Take care.
Anna